i want a life
recently i had the opportunity to get to know a few daredevils. people who threw their cares out the window the moment they saw something worth the risk. or the moment they saw something fun. or something new. and that something may not even be worth the risk at all, but they took the plunge anyways.
right now i’m in a very fortunate position career wise. things are picking up, my work is great, i get to talk to real people and be friends with them at a personal level. and it feels great to be able to coach people prior to taking those baby steps that i once took which led me to where i’m at right now. when i look at them, their mixed eagerness and anxiety, i can’t help but smile because i used to feel the exact same way before. the difference now is that i can help them through it.
earlier on, we had an applicant who really cried because she badly needed the job and she didn’t really hesitate in telling us that she needed to support her family. she was a licensed nurse and the opportunity to go abroad and realize her materialistic dreams were just an arm’s length away. what moved me was when she said, in tears, that she will let that dream go and just let her siblings realize that dream for her. all she could think about was landing this job and earning for her family. so just like that, she threw her dreams away for a worthy cause.
it’s a typical scenario here in the philippines, people letting go of their dreams so others could follow their own. ironically, here i am with the opportunity to realize mine, and the sad thing is i forgot all the dreams i used to have. i don’t know. things got pretty mundane and i just got used to it. i eventually learned to embrace a dreamless life. i feel blessed and for now it’s all that counts. and that feeling of gratitude is just what gets me thru the day because if i stopped for a second and let that listless feeling take the reins, i’d go insane.
for now though i realized what counts. there’s just one thing i’d ask from santa this christmas. i want a life. it’s not fun to live one without yourself in it. like in the movie “my life without me” although not as tragic coz i’d've died halfway through it.
my trip back home has been truly defining. for the first time in a long time, i actually had fun. well, it’s always fun to be with my family and friends. i guess it was different because i found my grounds back and i realized where i wanted to be and with whom and why. i have been to the “greener pasteurs” and i realized there’s really no such thing. it’s just all mindset.
what i’m holding on to right now is that small ounce of strength to go for what i want. the universe is just there at my command so why should i let my reins over it go, right? i’m a firm believer in the laws of attraction, it’s always worked for me. that’s why i’ll put my theory to practice real soon. real soon. i want a life. and i’m going to go and get one real soon.
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